sighs and tears again in the month of fasting without "REHTAF"

Finally come the month of fasting. I was very excited in welcoming this blessed month. no excessive preparation to welcome the month of Ramadan this year, the same as before. Pray, fix all the behavior and others. But god, ... Here I held my sad, cry, miss, and ... * Sigh * can’t say anything else .. Lord, thou all-knowing and understand why I like this .. Yes, fasting this year, exactly 4 years my father was not in the side of me. Exactly four years of implementing the fasting father was not with us (mother, me and my sisters). It's kinda sad .. want to cry but my tears will not make him come back to this house. Sometimes thought of as the first father is still with us, carry with us any Activities. welcome the month of Ramadan together. But, after the divorce the father and mother, has changed all this. At first I thought this was just a dream at night and the dream will end when I wake from my sleep. But the dream was never finished and no ending .. I always believe that this is just a dream, and when I woke up, everything will be fine, no divorce and there is no separation. but apparently this is not a dream, this is a reality that can’t be avoided. if time can be repeated again, I want to make them reconcile. but it seems unlikely. time continues to run and can not be repeated again. very sad when considering all of that. jealousy is always on my mind. envious of those who have an intact family, having a harmonious family relationships. haha you know? as I write this story, I always shed a tear. until my eyes puffy from crying. haha maybe you think I'm overreacting. but here's how I feel, this is what I want to express. * Sigh *. Now my father was with his new family. do anything with his new family. and now I'm with my mother and two sisters still have to continue to live, a new leaf. another one, I always pray not only for my little family, but for a new family of father and for my friends too. hopefully this year's Ramadan charity received by our worship of Allah SWT, given the ease in doing anything.